all over again - Part 2

As I walked south on Michigan Avenue, the warm breeze of late summer crossed my path. I entered her building and rode up to the 33^rd floor. I wandered the hallway trying to find her door. Eventually I stood there and paused, unsure of my place in time. I knocked, hoping for everything. A dog barked… I'd forgotten she had a new friend. We’d driven sixteen hours with her beloved feline Chloe, who had chosen to piss in my friend Billy's truck en route to Chicago. I still felt bad that had happened but somehow months later Billy was still able to sell the pickup, despite the lingering odor. It turns out Chloe had recently moved to Florida to live with Rebecca's mother and now Maxine was her new companion. Maxine scratched at the door, while I waited.

This was actually my last night in Chicago. It was work that had brought me back to this city and an email had led to this moment at her doorstep. It opened and there she was smiling and radiant as always. Golden blonde hair and tan face with those dark eyes that always sparkled. Rebecca was jealous of my blue eyes. She told me when she was little, she’d always prayed for blue eyes like her friends but alas she was cursed for life with her cute brown ones. I gave her a hug and I missed her at that moment more than I ever had before.

Rebecca showed me the startling view of Chicago and Lake Michigan from her new apartment balcony. We opened the bottle of Shiraz and began to talk about the past four years of our lives. She hadn’t changed much at all. Rebecca was still the same lovely and beautiful woman that I’d remembered. We also discussed what had happened between us. She saw it as having been a chance for me to fight for a woman, as I’d tried to convince her months after I left Chicago that maybe we should consider a future. She had spent time thinking about my proposal but ultimately said no. That was the last time I spoke to her as I’d responded that I wasn’t able to be friends anymore.

As we sat together on her couch; Time was stopped. That’s how it always felt when I spent time with Rebecca. But eventually we realized it was 2:30am and she had to get up at 6am for work. I wanted to stay. I lingered a bit and took a moment to encourage her and thank her for being who she was. I eventually embraced Rebecca and said goodbye.

As I rode back on the subway toward my hotel, I realized that I was still in love with Rebecca. And I'd lost her all over again.